Let me just tell you a little about him...

This is an email my old and dear Institute teacher wrote me. We have been in touch long since my days at the University of Washington and my mission. I have always felt very close to him and care deeply about his opinion and thoughts. He just sent me this email and quite frankly, it may just be the most beautiful truth out there. It brought tears to my eyes.

Jenn,

I appreciate being in your address book. I cannot respond to all of your wonderful letters but just wanted to take a moment this time and let you know that I am still here and have such fond memories of you as a student and the wonderful letters you sent from your mission.

What I have to say will make likely make little difference in your feelings but I will say it anyway. I was of course sad to hear that the dream you felt was coming true dissolved in such a painful way. I have seen so many things like this happen with young people over the years. Yet there is always a happy ending.

You are a first class person. Greatly blessed will be the man who will be fortunate enough to earn your trust and heart to the extent that he will have the privilege of kneeling across an altar from you.

By this last episode you just cleared another obstacle to finding him...or letting him find you. Let me just tell you a little about him. He will be so taken by the rich gifts that you possess that he will be willing to offer you his life, all that he has and ever hopes to have, just for the chance of winning your heart and fulfilling his dream of having you smile upon his overtures of affection and his desire to share eternity with you. It will take his breath away to think of winning your heart and together blessing this earth with a family. He will strive to be a better person, to honor his priesthood, prove his trust, fidelity and worthiness to you. He will draw closer to God because of you for he will offer many prayers on your behalf.

You will recognize his goodness by how he will strive to become a better person just from being in your presence. Each time he is with you he will seek to honor you, to bring you happiness and earn your trust and love.

That is the man who is out there praying to be led to the woman of his dreams. Don't settle for less. It won't take you long to recognize each other when you meet. Walk into that relationship with the majesty, grace and charm of the princess you are and watch him rise to meet you.

Take care,
Love,
Bro. Holliday

"accepting a divine rhythm to life"

I am hanging in there. It hurts so much that I trusted someone and he hurt me in the biggest way possible. I've cried, but I'm also trying to put my faith to the test- to just know that Heavenly Father has someone even more wonderful for me- and to know I'm supposed to learn from this last relationship (which I have learned a lot). I guess I'll keep the rest of my feelings to myself.

In support of my recent breakup (since they DID meet him!), my fourth period class offered to just 'talk about my feelings' for all of class...of course I objected and continued with the lesson. But that made Aunt Pam laugh, so I had to share that. And Jophie told me he still likes me more. He gave me a snickers bar- how sweet. They really do care about me. And I care about them! Ms. Petree deserves a gold medal for sweetness about everything, too. She just loves me and cares and understood. I'm a lucky gal.

I dyed my hair black. Well, dark brown but it is black. Kinda emo? sure. I'm having fun with it. My students either say "Wow, Ms. Daniel, your hair looks awesome!" or "what did you do to your hair!" A few thought I was blond before. Uh, no. Oh, and I did this Pre-Break-Up, not post.

So Houston update- I just found out that I do have a classroom (sometimes that just isn't the case) and for the first two weeks I'll be learning from other teachers about the Clear Creak grades/lesson plans/etc...and get to set up my labs and such. That'll be fun! I get to be a real teacher! I only have 4 weeks left here! Wow, and I get a real nice paycheck!

I went to see my students play volleyball in the championship and also quite a few of my students were in the musical "Into the Woods." It was fun to see them in that! Turkey day will be with Aunt Karen and family in New York! I'm excited to get away. And meet new family!

This week in Chemistry we've been learning about the different groups on the periodic table and the different trends. With Becky this week, we talked about "how" our students learn and that it's such an individual thing- it seems like such a daunting task to try to reach every single student when they just bolt out of your classroom and you don't get much one-on-one time with them. Being a true teacher is hard and you can easily burden yourself with so much over your students.

Here are some good quotes on patience:
"Patience is not indifference. Actually, it is caring very much, but being willing, nevertheless, to submit both to the Lord and to what the scriptures call the “process of time.”....Patience is always involved in the spiritual chemistry of life—not only when it helps us turn trials and tribulations, the carbon dioxide, as it were, into joy and growth, but also when it builds upon the seemingly ordinary experiences to bring about happy, spiritual outcomes. Patience is, therefore, clearly not fatalistic, shoulder-shrugging resignation; it is accepting a divine rhythm to life; it is obedience prolonged. Patience stoutly resists pulling up the daisies to see how the roots are doing!"
(taken from a great talk by Elder Neal A Maxwell entitled "Patience" http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=647cfc3157a6b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1)

I am going to apply that this week as I am left to wonder about Heavenly Father's eternal plan for me. I know I'm doing good things in my life and I am incredibly blessed for that. I will continue to have faith and learn what will make me a better person. I will turn this experience into joy and growth; I will accept the divine rhythm that is my life. And I will keep my heart open and continue to be the Jenn I am and continue to grow through the trials I'm given, even as silly as this one seems at times.
My friend once heard a proverb that "one cannot see the end, but the end is perfect." So true!

Thanks to all of you who love and care about me- I love you all so much!

uhm yeah

so Nick broke up with me. today. two days after our wonderful weekend. that's all I have to say. I'm crushed. crushed.

from cloud nine...

I just had the most amazing weekend of my life! I can't remember much about the week because ever since Thursday night, I've been in my own world. I do remember that I'm working with classroom management with my kids because they just talk way too much and lack a bit of respect...but I love them and will find my place yet.

So Thursday night NIck flew in from Salt Lake City! it was so great to see him!!!! It has been six months since we've seen each other. Unbelievable! Needless to say it was such a great feeling seeing him there at the airport and being in his arms! He did kiss me right off- so cute!! gotta love it.

We went back to my apartment building- which is just 2 minutes away via metro. He stayed with these nice boys in my ward (that's a church term for the same area that goes to church together...) downstairs. They're all going to grad school or working and were very nice to let Nick stay with them.


Friday morning we headed off to school. Yup, to Wilson High School! I had a lab planned for all of the classes and it was perfect for Nick to be there and help out. He got to meet all my little munchkins. He's heard many of the names, so now he's got faces. They loved him. Even Jophie- who was quite jealous (haha)- Jophie is the one who always jokes about wanting to date me. Yeah, my students- and Ms. Petree- loved Nick. It was a great day!



After school it started raining but we went out anyways! We went to the Washington Monument and walked around the reflection pond and the WWII memorial, the Vietnam memorial, and the Lincoln memorial. We got some great photos (the links are below...). We got lost on the way to the Kennedy center, so we just got extra wet! :) We watched this little concert with an Indian man and a flute- kinda cool. The kennedy center has a great view of the potomac river, we enjoyed that. We also wandered around the Watergate building and got some yummy hazelnut hot cocoa. It was getting pretty cold and we were pretty wet! In the evening we got a huge pizza from Costco and watched Transformers at home on my laptop. We just had a wonderful evening together.

Saturday was another adventure filled day! We went to the Library of Congress- which is a beautiful building! Then we went to the Air and Space Museum. We got to see Dorothy's ruby slippers and a bunch of cool air and space-y things. :) Then we watched a 3-D IMAX about astronauts living in space. We learned a lot from that, it was interesting. Then we had a yummy lunch in Chinatown (which is kind of a sad chinatown). We wanted to do the Operation Spy thing at the Spy Museum but it was sold out. Oh well! We visited the Smithsonian Castle and then we went to the Museum of National History and saw Dinosaurs and other dead animals. Quite the sight! It was getting dark but we walked to the White House and got a picture outside of the lawn and then wandered around to find a metro stop (which isn't hard to find). We just were everywhere!!!! We headed back home eventually and watch Ratatouille and just enjoyed each other's company all evening. We even danced. Nick is the cutest guy ever!

This morning we made french toast for breakfast and then took a long walk around the Arlington Cemetery. It was a beautiful day! The cemetery has some impressive sights- it was very peaceful.

Then I had to leave Nick at the airport this afternoon. I cried (does that surprise you?) - I'm gonna miss him! But it will be okay- we'll see each other after Christmas (he's gonna help me drive to Houston). Anyways, I just want to say that I am such a lucky girl to have Nick in my life. He is more than amazing, and I just feel like such a princess in his presence. He makes me laugh and smile like no one else! I'm sure smitten with that boy! You need to meet him if you haven't! My roommates loved him. I mean, who wouldn't! And the best part is that he's pretty crazy about me, too! I couldn't be happier.
Here are links (they are different so look at both) to our AMAZING photos. There is a plentitude!

Nick and Jenn in DC Part One:
http://byu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2147579&l=7e393&id=17825146

Nick and Jenn in DC Part Two:
http://byu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2147603&l=a0af6&id=17825146

Well, you should check those out. I hope you have a wonderful week! Love you all!

two days!!!

So my dearest boyfriend, Nick, flies into DC in just two days! I cannot wait to see him! It has been six months since I've seen him! We started officially dating since I've been out here in DC. I cannot wait to see him!

I'm super excited!

angels and devils

Homecoming Dance. I didn't go to the game (I just don't do those kinds of things) but we did lose. haha. Anyways, the homecoming dance was quite the ordeal! It was in the ballroom of the Marriott hotel downtown DC. Hor'dourves of all kinds, little sodas, and crazy music! It was way fun watching the kids. My little "white" sophomores all sat around in groups and barely danced while mostly black kids were on the small dance floor. Kind of funny how that is. They're kind of segregated in class like that, too. No obviously dislike for each other, they just are more comfortable in their own little cliques. Hence why I split them up for group work and such! But they always complain. Anyways, back to the dance- Jophie and Jake were asking me to dance many times (those silly boys) but I said I couldn't. Then Jophie asked Ms. Petree to dance and she did, so haha. well, five of my boys all surrounded me to dance- those goobers! It was pretty dang funny. You should've been there. I wore my pretty pink 'barbie' dress. Good times!

We've had interruptions of all kinds in the past week or two! Homecoming, Spirit Week (so they dress up all crazy), Pep-rallys, assemblies, fire drills (uhm THREE in one week. once we were outside for over an hour!!! the firemen did come, late, for that one), half-day, halloween, school audit (so homeroom lasts for like 2 hours), and other crazy stuff. You sure learn how to be flexible as a teacher! Let's just say it's been chaotic. Oh and that was the most interesting pep-rally I will ever see. Spirit times a hundred and music times a thousand- black kids can dance! In very suggestive ways, but yes, they can dance way better than anyone else I know! It was an eye-opening experience to culture!

Classroom management. It's hard! I apparently was not a normal teenager. You know how I was/am! I was always good, never talked, and was always in classes with other kids who were good and didn't talk. And never did anyone ever 'flirt' with the teacher! goodness. So it's hard to be 'struck' by ALL these kids- many of whom are wonderful- who just are normal teenagers in every sense of the word. Even my "good ones" aren't good. Okay, so there's maybe three or four absolute angels. But the other smart ones even have attitude and feel the need to say anything at anytime. They can be little devils. We made class room rules- and a warning system together this week. They didn't want "no flirting with the teacher" on the rules, however. Goobers. Goobers, I tell ya. Maybe a few are in love with me. haha. I don't think so but all evidence points to yes. I don't know what to do with them somedays. It's crazy. CrAZy. And I have Becky trying to tell me what to change to get a better grip on them AND another teacher (the head of the science dept in the school) as well. Okay, great. I'm working on it! But it doesn't change overnight. Patience begets experience.

I don't like how Ms. Petree grades. Their final grade is basically only based on tests. Not fair. And my kids see that it's not fair, but there isn't anything I can do about it.

Ms. Petree fell Monday and was out for a couple days. She's okay. Mind you, she's gotta be over 65. I tripped up the stairs- I have a nice bruise to show for it. haha. And I'm borderline sick...dang it! Next week is SO busy and Nick is coming. I can't get any sicker!

Lesson of the week- be thankful for your parents and tell them you're thankful for all they've sacrificed for you! One story- we're learning about the periodic table and I was reading them a story about Mendeleyev- the creator/organizer of the periodic table. His mother knew he was bright and walked over 1000 miles (okay, this was in the 1800s...) to two different colleges to try to get him enrolled. She died of exhaustion in the process but knew the importance of education and loved her son. He dedicated his first book to her. But amazing sacrifice on her part, huh! Look that story up if you want more info (this is a shout out to Dr. Wood, too! He first told me that story). Second story- just talking to Nick this week one night I was telling him how great my family was- all the little things my dad and mom did to help us and that we always had family dinner and time together... and it just made me want to write my dad and say thanks (so I did). Those kinds of things are hard to put into words because what our parents have done for us is HUGE. But it's worth a shot to say what's in your heart. Yup.

Okay, so I'm not quite ready for all the craziness next week holds- I'm substituting for another chemistry teacher on top of my usual chem classes and Nick is coming Thursday night! Just pray that I get feeling better!