skinny minnie

so this cute 16 yr old said she loved my shirt...and made the comment that she'd need one like three sizes bigger. Whatever! She's totally my size- so I said that- and we compared pant sizes (both 6-8) and shirt sizes and height and weight...and we're pretty much exactly the same! Which makes me feel way good because she is a cute, skinny girl! I don't think I've ever felt so skinny nor felt noticed as so skinny before. Courtney said last week "girl, you keep getting skinnier!" I was not this skinny in high school, that's for sure.

just my vain little thought. :)

Jenn, Jan, Jane

So people in Texas must not get my 'accent'...because whenever I introduce myself as "Jenn" they often think I said "Jan"...more than a handful of times that's happened!

I got a note yesterday addressed to Jane...which was supposed to be me, Jenn.

Jenn, like Jenn-ifer! is what I reply. goodness.

Space School!

So I got a great summer job- teaching at Nasa at their Space School! I had an interview last week and they gave me one of the two prestigious positions as Space School Instructor! We will have groups from Malaysia, Taiwan, India, and all over! Oh, so we have the groups one week at a time (9 total this summer) and they have to build a rocket, a moon-rover, loft into space, and all sorts of cool stuff Mars-related. There are also tours and special conferences with Astronauts and Engineers! Any 'off week' we have will be spent preparing and researching for next summer's ideas for the Space School. How cool is that! It starts right after school ends and goes all summer for me...it'll keep me busy!

http://www.spacecenter.org/SpaceSchool.html

But I'll 'quit' Babin's...at least say I can be 'on call' so I can still get my nice Kemah discount! ;) I worked Saturday night and I forgot how much I hate it. haha.

Countdown to the move- 11 days! I cannot wait. It's not a day too soon.

This week is lame- TAKS testing ALL week. Talk about exhausting- hanging out with the same kids 5 hours straight 4 days in a row. Not fun.

School has been really stressful. I have some really obnoxious kiddos. And I just feel so much pressure. Which I'm doing a dang good job, but it's easy to feel inadequate or just hate life. Which happens daily these days. It's harder than I thought coming in mid year. I feel so lame sometimes!!!!!

Oh, Jonathan? Yeah we're 'dating'...loosely stated... Why the boy doesn't want to commit, beats me, so we're just going slow and 'dating'... Prom is Saturday, though, and he's going with me. That'll be fun.

So other than the Space Center job, my life is lame and not fun at the moment. I'm sure as heck trying but just not succeeding. Life is just getting me down.

Your first year is supposed to suck.

This is a letter from a teacher friend at my school:

Jenn,

Just wanted to let you know that everything will get better. Your first year is supposed to suck. You are supposed to cry. You are supposed to be miserable. You are supposed to feel inadequate. It means you care and that you want to be a better teacher. Nobody ever knows what they are doing completely. It just gets better as the years go by. Just take all the advice you can get and keep working at it. One day it will get easier. Hang in there.

P.S. Next year will suck, too, and that's ok, it will be better than this year.

That girl had so much love.

Yup. I have so much love. And I part of me never thought I could love again after Nick. He stung me like no other. It's been easier than I thought to open up to someone new. Now, I'm not saying I'm in love with Jonathan. There's no way I could be yet. I just really like him. There's no harm in that. But apparently I always attract commitment-phobic boys. Nick...well we talked ALL the time and shared everything with each other...and he made the big choice to come out and visit...and that was the best weekend of my life. Then because "I come on too strong" he backed off...permanently. Now to the point that he even had the nerve to de-tag the 'friendly' photos of us on facebook. grr. What a guy. Just because it didn't feel right. No offense, but I'm sick of hearing that.

Now Jonathan. Sweet, dear Jonathan. I really thought I was safe with him. I trusted him completely. Afterall, he is a wonderful, Christian boy. Right? And I was his first kiss- that was special, right? yes, he admitted that was special, and so was some other stuff...but apparently not special enough to classify me as his "girlfriend"...we're just 'dating'... whoa. I just had this amazing weekend with this boy and felt super intimate with him...and I'm not even worthy of being his girlfriend. Oh, and why? it doesn't feel right. Yup. It doesn't feel right. Never heard that before... It doesn't feel right. For some reason... to him. Not to me- I feel great. I'm willing to take the leap of faith to be his girlfriend. The best one he could ever ask for. So after a bunch of tears, we're just going to back off a little but still 'date'. I did make it clear he was being a jerk about things. He does feel bad, as he should. Hello, people, you don't kiss and do other stuff with someone you're not committed to.

So, what the heck is wrong with me? Both of these young men have commented that I deserve someone who loves me so much. Uhm, why isn't it them if they think I'm so great? I am great, darn it.

I'm kind of bitter at the moment. My world is crashing down on me. and it's not just PMS. This whole Jonathan thing, my roommate (which I won't say anything because I don't want to be mean), my job (is SO stressful right now! I can't stand some of my students. I can't stand the pressure. I don't know what I'm doing for the summer, I just want to cry about teaching, too!!!!), church is not doing it for me (granted I'm not trying), I can't even get a discount on online furniture because I waited a day too long (target.com), and I'm just wondering why the heck I am here in Texas. Oh yeah, my doctor says I need to eat more protein and high-calorie food because I keep losing weight. Down to 128 and sometimes lower, my friends. A year ago January I was 155 or so! You'd think that'd be a good thing, but my pants don't fit. Which reminds me, I need to go through the new shorts I bought... I hate my to-do lists. they never end. They suck. I suck.

Lyrics from my favorite artists at the moment...they say a lot...

Ingrid Michaelson- Masochist
"When will I feel all soft on the inside?
When will I feel all soft on the inside?
When will I feel soft, soft?

[H]e says you're a masochist for falling for me."

Panic at the Disco- She had the world
"The sun was always in her eyes
She didn't even see me
But that girl had so much love
she'd wanna kiss you all the time
Yeah, she'd wanna kiss you all the time

I, I know why
Because when I look in her eyes
I just see the sky
When I look in her eyes
Well I, I just see the sky

I don’t love you I'm just passing the time
You could love me if I knew how to lie
But who could love me?
I am out of my mind
Throw an old line out to sea
To see if I can catch a dream"

Cheating!

Some of my kiddos were cheating. And they are ones I like. It just kills me. The boy took a photo of the answer key with his iPhone and sent it to two other girls...who used it. An innocent girl knew about it and told me what was going on after class was over. I went to the Assistant Principal's office and we tried to get it out of the boy- but he wouldn't confess. We talked to all three girls who knew about it and they all pointed fingers at the Boy and one of the girls confessed to cheating, too. Even after that, he still wouldn't confess!!!!! This ordeal took 2 hours. And it's still not resolved. They all deleted the pictures off their phone. ACK!

grilled or crispy?

The middle-schoolers are quite interesting. Not quite mature and they do the weirdest things. One of them is the absent-minded professor. Another one was at mcdonalds and asked what was on the ceasar salad. So she told him and also said it had chicken on it. The kid said he was a vegetarian, but not very loudly...so he said he wanted that. She asked "Grilled or crispy?" so he said "crispy." Then I had to interject making sure that he didn't want chicken on his salad! silly kids.

A lot of them placed- a few 2nd, a few 3rd, and a few honorable mentions. For state that is awesome! We were happy. And we got home in one piece. :) I would do it again.

Mustang!

So during the science fair today we had some down time (as the chaperones...) so I just had a wonderful day on the Riverwalk here in San Antonio. I walked around everywhere and got some sun, went shopping (did some damage there!), had yummy mexican food, and then got to cruise around in the GT convertible Mustang that Keenan (another chaperone) borrowed! I got to drive it all by myself! It was so freakin' awesome! Loved it. Way too much fun!!

Wow...that was amazing

Today I'm in San Antonio! It's about 3-4 hours from where I live. Myself and two other teachers are the chaperones for the 24 high school and junior high kiddos who qualified for the state science fair. We drove over in a nice shuttle bus! They are great kids. I did not know any of them-they're from all the schools in the district. Smart kiddos. We're going to the River walk this evening. I get my own hotel room and it's really a mini vacation. Shall keep you posted.

I left major notes for my substitute. I don't envy them, whoever they are! They've got some crazy kids to keep under control for the next two days. I hope the chem commers are okay! I'm going to be gone two days next week for a Pre-AP teacher seminar, too! Crazy.

Haven't heard back from the Research position yet, but should soon. I also signed up for an AP Physics C week long seminar in July (the school will pay for it). It's at Rice University. Should be helpful since no one knows what to do for that class! Then I'd be ALL set for next year.

I got 'observed' by my Assistant Principal (AP) this week. He came in during Chem Com AND my 8th period boys. My worst classes ever. My chem commers know Mr. Thomas WAY too well because they always get in trouble and he's their AP...but they put on a good show being angels for a change. They like me too much to be retarded when someone else is in the room. I'm sure that was surprising. I wonder what comments I'll get next week when I meet with him (I hate that we have to wait!) And my boys were alright. It wasn't the most fascinating lesson (considering I did three days straight with labs and this was the one day without one!), but still think it went great.

Funny kid comment-
This kid Nick asked me to write him a letter for a character reference, so I was asking him random questions about what he likes to do and what his family is like and such.
So I asked: "How many siblings do you have?"
Nick: "gosh, a lot!"
I looked at him funny.."really, a lot? How many?"
Nick: "A lot."
This other kid realized that NIck misunderstood the question: "Dude, siblings means brothers and sisters!"
Nick: "Oh, I thought you meant cousins!"
hahahahaha.
He has one sister. not a lot. :)


So I adore this boy of mine. He's definitely a quiet fella, but we just feel such peace and joy together. I always can't help but smile around him. We see each other every day... as much as we can! :)

New favorite music- Ingrid Michaelson (I mailed Gail the CD and she loves it...you all should check it out) and Panic at the Disco (they've got a new CD- pretty good...listening to it right now). Check 'em out.

I'm browsing the different cable/internet packages... what do you all think of DVR? Should I get that?

yeah, you are a teacher

Jenn is making enchiladas with Jonathan. The recipe calls for chicken broth with flour added to it.
Jenn: "Do you know why we put the flour in the chicken broth?" (asking him like he was a little kid)
Jonathan, with an odd look on his face: "Yeah, to thicken it."
Jenn: "Oh gosh, I said that like a teacher, didn't I?!?"

Later...Jenn was recalling this funny event with her roommate and then texted Jonathan.
Jenn: "I am laughing about asking you about the flour all teacher-esqe!"
Jonathan: "yeah, you are a teacher!"

moving, dating, teaching, researching

What an interesting week it has been. A lot has changed.

I don't remember if I said I was moving out in May...just down the street to my OWN apartment. I'm stoked. I am purchasing super cute stuff to adorn my place. Needless to say, Leslie and I are better friends than roommates. We've been stressing each other out way to much. So we talked about it and now being a home is a happy place again. I am still moving out, but at least we're best friends again! We went to see 27 dresses at the dollar theatre- SO cute. Best movie ever.

I went to an Astronaut debriefing on monday night at the Space Center. They had a successful mission- we got to watch the boring awards and then see their mission video. I went with Jonathan (but I was supposed to meet some other boy there, whoops. It's all good). We are dating, bytheway. Just kind of happened. :) We spend as much time as possible together (but still go to bed by 10:30!). Went went out for Thai food last night, we make dinner, we play games, watch movies...Saturday afternoon we're going to the beach. He's even going to chaperone Prom with me on May 3rd. haha. I'm happy.

So my kiddos have been crazy lately- some classes- but I've been getting them under control here and there. My 8th period boys are such a handful. Yet my 3rd period are just angels. I have been doing labs every day this week, too. Busy busy. And next week I'm gone for two days going to the Science Fair in San Antonio. And then it's crazy TAKS review for two weeks (the state test...)...and then the last week of April is the TAKS test. Oh yeah- remember how I have that class of seniors who need to pass the TAKS test? Well, almost all of them did! We only have 5 left (and they have 2 more chances...and they were super close). Hooray.

I just applied for this awesome Research position this summer! Pray that I get it- there are only 12 spots! It's a 6 week opportunity at the University of Houston in which the teacher will work with an Engineering Professor and prepare a project to bring back to our students...to help motivate them to take a career in science/engineering. I'd be like a graduate student for the 6 weeks- with my own office and everything. :) And for physics next year- that's PERFECT. It starts the week right after school's out and goes through mid-July. And the best part- up to a $6,000 or $7,000 stipend! That means I would not have to work at Babin's AT ALL and STILL have a month of real summer to enjoy! (I am now only working one night a week at Babin's but this summer would be crazy.) I will let you know when I know.